Im such a total loser..

Hi, its been about 4 months since my girlfriend left me..day by day, im struggling to forget her..and like people said, time will heal everything..as time goes by, I can manage to forget her..

Yes I admit, the feeling now is not so strong..not like the first month, when I always daydreaming bout her while riding my bike to and from office..Life at that time quite suck..make me think that Im such a loser.I miss her..and from there, I try to appreciate people who love me..I think they deserve a better treat from me..But, I just simply can't like the thing that I not naturally like..the feeling cant be shaped..

But, after 4 months, during my surfing hours, why she YM me? at first, I just ignore..so there are for the second time which happen few days later..and then, for the fourth time, I replied and said, that I'm ok now, please just leave me alone and there is no way that we can be friend againn..

From that moment, my weak mind start thinking about her again..and I try to read her blog again....then, a bad plan happened in my mind..I upload a video of her and said the F and other bad words to her...yeah I know, the chances for people to found that video is really low...

But then, after about 10-15 days, she text and called me..She said that she know that I posted the video..I just ignore her until at the end of the day when my best friend advice me to solve it in a good way because she keep treating me that she want to lodge a police report, she want to tell my parents and blbalbalbala...

And at that time, all I care is my family dignity..I care about how my mother and father's feeling...So, In a humble way, I said im sorry to her..and she like half way to go to crazy..After an hour, we end the conversation..I said that I already got my lesson..and ask her to please not contact me for ever..because I simply can't forget her If I still have her in my daily life..

Im sorry for things that I have done.. I just break the limit..Im sorry and I hope I can forget u..